As each Mother's Day continues to come along, I realize how much I love my mother and how thankful I am for her. I feel so blessed to have been able to have her in my life for as long as I did. Although we were not best friends, like Becca and her were, I know that she knew I loved her. Mothers, some how seem to make everything better. Ironically, I wish I would have had her here to comfort me as I was grieving over her being gone. I definately felt here presence here with me while I was healing, but I couldn't hug her and feel her comfort in that way. I remember the last time I saw her face before we closed the casket and that is all I wanted, a hug from my mom. I am writing her a letter today to tell her how much I love her, feel free to keep reading if you desire.Mom,
So much has happened since you left us. I know that you are aware of these events and experiences. I feel your presence with me often, but not as often as I would like. I know you are busy and have other things that you need to be doing right now. There are just so many things I want your advice on. I want to know what you think about the ways that I am raising the boys. I want to know that you are proud of me and think that I am a good mother. I have been struggling recently with the miscarriage and all of my other health issues. I so badly want to call you and ask your advice. I really do wish I would have taken better advantage when I had you to talk to. I would talk to you everyday if you were here.
I promise I would. I would come visit you everyday and allow you to see the boys grow and mature. I potty- trained Ben these last couple of weeks and you would be so proud of him Mom. Isaac talks about you often. I am sure to never left him forget you. I will never let that happen. I t hurts me to know that you never had the chance to hold Ben in your arms here on earth and welcome him to this world. I missed you then and I needed you so desperately. I need you in my life right now. I need your advice. I need your hugs. I need your unconditional love and support. I need to see you. I wish that there was some way for me to tell you how very very much I love you. I am so sorry for the times when I made life hard for you and made your heart ache. I would give anything to take those times back. I will do my very best to live my life worthy of seeing you and living with you again. Those days just don't seem to be soon enough. I know you are telling me to be patient and I try so hard. Please don't be disappointed in me. I love you so dearly. There is not a single minute of a single hour of a single day that I do not miss you and think about you. I will be strong and try to move on only because I know that this is what you earnestly want for
me. I know that you want more that anything for me to be happy, and so I will do my best for you. You are the dearest mother and I am so blessed to have you as my mother. I will be ok. I have my sisters who are very strong and we all help each other. It would make you so happy to see the way we support each other and love each other. I love you mother. Happy Mother's Day. 
7 comments:
Thanks for making me cry at work! It is beautiful Stacey. I wrote a letter to mom 2 years ago and read it often. I miss her too but am greatful for you and the rest of our family. I know that we can all make it back to Heavenly Father and mom. You are amazing!
Thanks for sharing this Stacey. You're mom was an amazing and kind woman. She's missed by all. If your mom was here, I know she'd tell you she's proud of the mother and woman you've become! It's such a blessing to have the Gospel in our lives and know that families are eternal! Someday that time will come when you can hug your mom and she'll tell you she's proud of the life you lived. :)
That was beautiful Stacy. Thank you for sharing that with all of us. I'm especially greatful for how tender your words were. Your mom was a very sweet and kind woman. I never saw her when she wasn't smiling. I have lost 2 daughters and have not found the strength to write them letters. Thank you for your courage and maybe I can learn from you and soon write my own letters to my loved ones.
Dear Stacey,
Thank you for sharing this with me. I know your mom is watching over you, your family and all of your siblings, too. She was so proud of you. I remember vividly how much you helped her and Grandma Tannie. You added great stability to your family's lives and now you are doing it in your own life with your sons and husband. I'd love to meet you and Becca for lunch sometime. Call me. Love, Nancy B
That was beautiful. I know Susie is aware of all of your feelings and she cries and smiles with you even though you cannot see.
A profound strength is discovered in one's willingness to share their vulnerable side with another. Thank you for offering such tenderness, that I might see more clearly the beauty that is there.
Stacey, thanks for sharing this with all of us. Your mom rocks! Did you know she was the only person who gave me a naughtie nightie at my wedding shower? I have great memories of her, and in almost all of them I am laughing. You guys are awesome because of her influence and example. xoxo
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