Tuesday, November 8, 2011
hard day
Beware: this is kinda a depressing post. I have been having a hard time lately. I am making a conscious effort to not "dwell" on things. I saw a lady at church on Sunday who had a brand new baby (4 weeks old). I watched her for a while. She just held and loved on her sleeping baby during all of Sunday school and relief society. I have two friends who have had a baby within the last week. I just found out this last week that two more of my friends are pregnant (just adds to the numerous friends who i already know are pregnant). I received and invitation to a cousins baby shower in the mail yesterday. I know that I am very blessed to have the two children I have. I don't want to be bitter. Every single one of these things lately feels like a knife in my heart. It's not any ones fault that I am feeling the way I am and I don't want people to walk on egg shells around me because they don't want me to fall apart. I see all my sisters with their babies who were all born within a year of each other, and my baby isn't here. If anyone knows of any good books or scriptures to read that will help me right now, it would be so appreciated. Thanks for listening to my sob story.
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3 comments:
thats got to be hard. im sorry. Hope you feel better soon. Im sure the Lord will continue to bless you..
know that you are loved, and everyone has their difficult times.
-m
I totally understand how you're feeling. I had a miscarriage in August before the Radiation treatment I had to do for my Thyroid. I see people at work who didn't want any more kids get pregnant, a few friends just found out that they are, and hearing my sisters talk about wanting more breaks my heart. Not that I want to have a "moepy"(sp) session, but if you wanted to get together I'd totally be up for it. If I find something that helps, I'll let you know. I love you! You're amazing!
I am so sorry you have had such a hard time. I know just how you feel!! It can seem like such a roller coaster sometimes and you never know what will trigger at your heart strings. I have read a couple really great books lately one is Gone Too Soon by Sherri Devashrayee Wittwer and I really liked this book because she talks about the church's perspective on miscarriages and I really liked that. The other book I loved was called Heaven Is Real (Im not sure the author) but it's about a little boy that dies for a few minutes and then later tells his dad everything he saw (It's a true story) and one thing he sees in heaven is his older sister that he never even knew about and I really liked that because it makes me think that these precious little sprits are waiting for us up in heaven and it will be an amazing reunion when we make it up there.
Good luck with everything and please know you are not alone and you really are loved!!
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