Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Update on surgery

    First, I would like to thank all those who have been praying for me. Physically, I am feeling better every single day. I can officially say now from having several horrible surgical experiences, that if something can go wrong, IT WILL HAPPEN to me. This is not pessimistic thinking, this is planning and preparing. It's the luck of the draw. On day #8 of my recovery from the first surgery, I had bleeding that the doctors were unable to control. So back into surgery I went.  I would say that I am about 95% recovered now. I'm completely off of all pain killers, including Tylenol. My blood sugars have normalized and i am gaining more and more energy. I am amazed at the strength our bodies have. There is no doubt in my mind that we have a Divine Creator, who provides what we need to be healed. I think I knew in the back of my mind that this would be a difficult surgery for me. The abscesses were so large and there was more than 1. I was not strong or healthy going into the surgery like I would have liked to have been. Here is what I did not know and did not expect...
    It amazes me how Satan works. He knows when we are the most vulnerable. And for me it just so happens to be when I am in severe pain and weak physically. He is cruel, he is the Father of Lies. I had several days where I just cried all day. Thoughts came in my mind that not a single person has checked on me today, I must not be important enough. I am a burden to my family. I am a bad mother and wife. I have been sick for months and no one notices and if they do notice then they just don't care. God could heal me if he wanted to. Those thoughts quickly turned to resentment towards the one who has promised to always be with me and never forsake me. In the midst of that resentment and misery, I felt His arms rock me to sleep. He softened my heart, and I pleaded for the attacks to stop. It's the first time I can remember ever putting complete and total faith in God. Literally handing Him my burdens and letting Him take them for me. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for that gift that was given to me. It is something I can never repay. Life is hard, there is no way around it. But the peace that comes from having a personal relationship with my Savior makes things so much easier. So here I am, healed physically, strengthened spiritually, and ready to tackle the next hurdle that comes my way. 

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